I have always been intrigued by
the saying “The right to swing your fist ends where the other person’s nose
begins”. It goes both ways. If you are the one with the swinging fist, you need
to be careful where it lands. While one has the freedom to stand by one’s
beliefs and follow one’s heart, it is equally important to be cognizant of
one’s boundaries and the repercussions of one’s actions. On the other hand, if
your’s is the nose that is supposed to dodge the fist, what stance do you take?
What does it take to be true to
oneself and yet ensure one doesn’t step on other’s toes? Politeness is one
thing, meekness is another. While one represents good attitude and good sense,
the other underscores cowardice. One needs to be keenly aware of that fine
balance between being politely firm and being subservient. One need not hurt
others physically or emotionally to achieve one’s purpose. But more importantly,
one need not bend over backwards to accommodate the whims and fancies of the
“powerful”. Once there is clarity in one’s motivation, confidence in one’s
actions and compassion for one’s fellow being well prioritized, taking a firm
stance is not all that difficult.
How important is it really to be
liked by all? Can anybody really be in everybody’s good books all the time? Is
it even humanly possible to be that perfect? I think not. Even if we strive to be at our best behavior at all times, there is no guarantee that we will
not fall through the occasional cracks. Everybody wants to be perceived as the
best, as “Mr. Likeable" or "Ms. Likeable”. That would be a great thing, had there not been
a fly in the ointment. And a big, ugly, messy one at that – Our humanness. Human
beings are prone to erring and being imperfect. We are fragile and flawed.
There are all kinds of people-pleasers
who will do anything, agree to anyone just so they do not have to deal with any
kind of unpleasantness. Then there are those who find it easier to be bullied
and stay bullied rather than stand up for themselves and speak up for what they
believe to be right. Every day we encounter such people. In our social circle
or in our work-places, there is no dearth of sycophants. It is sad to see that
people do not stand up for themselves, let alone standing up for one’s fellow
being in times of crisis. There are people who wouldn't think twice before
riding on another’s back or grabbing another’s limelight. But the worst of the
lot are those who constantly crib about the unfairness of life, their bosses,
their subordinates, their misfortunes and what not. They perpetually appear
wronged by life, but take no steps to better it consciously. They end up
spreading negativity and scouring the lives of those around them.
As children, we are taught to
embrace honesty and grow up to be upright citizens. We are asked to be moral,
idealistic and forthright. To be fearless. To do the right thing. But with the
passage of time, innocence is corrupted. One has to learn the ways of the world
or be the outcast. One has to suck up to the powerful and make compromises
with one’s beliefs or be ridiculed or punished.
In the end, the question that
matters is – “is it really worth it?” Is it not more important to be able to
sleep at night with a clear conscience?
Even with all our human shortcomings
and frailty, it is not the end of the world. We need to be positive in outlook
for a healthy sustenance. We need to tap into our internal well of positivity
and seek hope. To be better than we were yesterday. To learn from our mistakes
and move on. To swing our palm in a hi-five, rather than make a fist to punch.
