Let me tell you about commercial ads that really drive me nuts. And not in a nice way too. These ads do their best to invoke in me the deepest possible irritation, making me stifle an urge to tear my own hair our every time I watch them on TV. Here’s why I feel so vehemently against crass, vulgar advertisement of meaningless trash:
1. I’m not stupid
2. I refuse to have stupid ad-guys think I’m stupid
3. Aren’t these reason enough already?
These ads that I’m referring to, they not only lack anything remotely creative, they seriously question one’s intelligence. You want to know why serial killers go about hacking innocent people to death? My theory is they probably watched too many of these ads and went berserk. I mean one can hardly blame them. Murderous rage is an inevitable outcome of being regularly inflicted to crass commercial ads. And I know I’m not alone in these ravings. Most of you would have had the same thought every time you curled up on the couch, with a bowlful of your favourite snack and felt like watching a good show on TV, when all of a sudden those god-awful jingles start and make your stomach churn. Oh well, they are serious kill-joys.
Now, in all frankness, how many of you have endured the GoIndigo ad and not gone crazy temporarily? The moment that pseudo captain begins to dance onscreen along with his cronies, like a bunch of manic Neanderthals with some kind of incurable epilepsy, you swear by your neighbour’s dead great-great-great grandmother that you’d never ascend an Indigo flight for as long as you live. The jingle makes no sense whatsoever to the regular thinking Homo sapien. I, for one, have had several teeth-gnashing sessions every time this ad is aired.
Similarly, there are the MDH masala ads. The owner has a serious case of the “Subhash Ghai syndrome”, popping in on every ad and flaunting his very own “masaledar” self to the unsuspecting public. Then, of course there are the “Kya aapke toothpaste mein namak hai” ads, and all its versions so far with the latest one being endorsed by Sonakshi Sinha’s good self. The least said about that one, the better. I mean, seriously guys. Why would anyone want salt in their toothpaste? Have you ever felt the lack of salt in your toothpaste when you brush your teeth, bleary-eyed and half-asleep while rushing through your daily routine? So there. If you wanted salt, you’d put it in your food. Savvy?
And hey, how can I forget the ones that demean womankind in general. There’s one where the husband goes “Ritu..where are my black socks?” And poor Ritu, for very obvious reasons, maliciously thinks “You are 35 years old and you still don’t know how to find your socks..!”She enters the bedroom, opens the dresser, pulls out the socks and hands it over to him with that look in her eye. Ring a bell, anyone? Right, that’s the one. It goes further to explain that if your entrails are devoid of crap, you tend to be in a better mood. How gross can that be? I bet every husband on watching this one, chuckles in glee and mocks his wife saying “So that’s why you are always in a foul mood – You are constipated, my dear..! Let’s get you that stuff..!” Aaaargh..!! And need I say anything about the “Axe” deo ads? I think I won’t even go there. They make my skin crawl with disgust every time I lay eyes on them.
Let’s not forget those commercials that glorify in negative marketing. Themselves being incapable of coming up with something original, they take a dig at their competitors to claim their “superiority”. Grow up, guys. Have the balls to give us something new, something original or shut the f*#k up and let us be.
Gone are the days of meaningful or even simple, humourous ad-making. Remember the old “Pan Pasand” ad? When the guy proposes to the pretty girl, she angrily retorts - ”Shaadi..?! Aur tumse..?!” kabhi nahi..!” Out comes the Pan pasand candy and the reply from the girl in a sweeter, shy-er way “Shaadi. Aur tumse?..Kabhi nahi.” Now that was a funny one. Not many of them these days. Sigh..!
Oh well, I don’t say all of them are of bad taste. But to ensure brand longevity, it has to be endurable and imprinted in one’s memory instead of questioning the viewer’s intelligence. In an era where competition is rife and brand survival is of utmost importance, today’s ad-makers should be more responsible while building their brand. Roping in a Katrina Kaif or a Sharukh Khan might be easy game but coming up with a simple idea that strikes a chord – now, that’s what counts. It’s time we said no to bad ads.
