Rainbow-hued reminisces…

I remember the first time I saw a rainbow. I was seven years old and in the second grade. At least that was my very first memory of having seen one and it was quite extra-ordinary, making its mark on my mind. To a child, rainbows hold some kind of magical charm. Unfathomable, transfixing, its transience adding to its allure and giving it a kind of special status. Someone told me – I think it was a classmate or perhaps a senior, I forget who, but that’s not important – that rainbows had the power to grant wishes. If you stare at a rainbow till it fades and hold one strong wish long enough in your head, focusing all your energy on it, your wish would come true. Perhaps not immediately, but eventually it would materialize.

And in my childish innocence, I wholeheartedly believed in it. For a long time in fact, I made wishes about all sorts of things – to meet my parents soon (I lived in boarding school, away from home and always remained homesick as a child), for holidays to last longer, to get good grades in exams, to get a new story book to read, for my friends to fall sick when I was sick and alone in the sick dormitory. A whole range of wishes, in fact.

But rainbows were few and far between. One had to be on the lookout for them every time it rained. I think that was one of the reasons I always looked forward to the monsoons. The rains washed away the grime of the summer, made the world bright and beautiful, green leaves became greener. But there was another reason that made me love the rainbow for what it represented. There was a story in one of my lesson books as a child that goes something like this – Once, long long ago, the earth and the sky were deeply in love. But try as they might, they were not fated to be together (at least it wasn't possible for them to be married anyway). So out of sorrow and frustration, the sky cried long and hard, its tears transforming into raindrops that fell on the earth who threw a large garland of seven-coloured flowers at the sky that transformed into the rainbow. And ever since, when the sky and the earth look upon one another and feel their love well up within them, the sky cries and wears the garland as proof of its everlasting love for the earth. And all of earth looks on in awe.

I loved this story. Sad though it was, it held a deep fascination in my mind as a child. I would look out of the classroom window and stare at the sky in search of a truant rainbow. But as I said, rainbows were rare and that made me stack up my wishes ready for the next sighting.

I was mostly impatient and couldn’t wait for a rainbow to pop up in the sky every time I wanted a wish to come true. As you can see, some wishes are time bound – like exams. If I had to get good grades, I couldn’t gamble that on a rainbow always. We had unit tests and half-yearlies and more unit-tests and finals and not to mention surprise class tests! So I cracked up a substitute wish-granter in the interim, kinda like a fill-in, a proxy till a genuine rainbow came along. That also meant that I had a lot of wishes lying in credit! Eight years old and already with a credit history..! If God were keeping tabs I must have had a bit of a bad credit rating, I guess. Perhaps (s)he said to his/her minions “No more for that naughty little girl there. She has a bad credit score…”

Did that deter me? You bet it didn't!

Anyway, the substitute wish-granter was a unique thing in itself even though it could be pretty mundane to onlookers or fellow classmates. That was the beauty of it! Who would think a mere rubber band wound around my fingers or a smooth round bead tucked away in my pocket had such massive potential to grant children’s wishes? It would be up for grabs and you never know how such wealth would turn the heads of other children. I wasn't taking any chances there, you know. So yeah many of my friends thought I was crazy to go around with a rubber band wrapped around my fingers. At times it irked my teachers who believed I was hankering for a blood clot on my fingers. They would confiscate the rubber band, only to find a week later, another one had replaced it. You see, it was not a specific rubber band that was important. It was the idea that if I managed to keep a rubber band around my last three fingers of my left hand at all times of the day or night, without losing it, for say a week (I took small, calculated, realistic risks and made up my own little complicated rules, you know. I had chalked out all the “what if” scenarios in my head while making a deal with the wish-granters association, if there happened to be one. That meant I had to study hard and ensure I didn't fail or get bad grades as well so as not to run the risk of my wishes not getting fulfilled which kinda defeated the purpose of the wish but anyway, I digress…). So yeah, any rubber band would do the trick as long as I managed to hold on to it long enough.

So several rainbows later, say at around the age of eleven, I realized that rainbows were not so potent after all. You see, many of my wishes never really came true, so it was safe to assume I had been duped. The disillusionment was complete.

From that time on for many years, whenever it rained, although I would sneak a peek at the sky to see if there was a rainbow lurking overhead, I never really made any rainbow wishes. For a long time, I would angrily look skyward wondering why some of my wishes never met the cut all those years ago. Was it because, I placed my trust in a placebo such as a mere rubber band? Was it because I lost faith so easily?

Well whatever it was, it was a mystery. It took me a longer time to forgive the rainbow and make friends.

Now whenever I sight a rainbow, I leave all expectation behind and just enjoy the view, my faith restored. I marvel at the miracle that is nature, for sharing with us humans such beauty, even though we only look for what is in it for us. I feel elated when I see a rainbow and a bit sheepish at my childhood silliness. So when I see a rainbow, my faith in love is renewed and I feel young again.

And out of habit, I stare on, till the very end. Till it fades out of sight, like an illusion, a dream…

Traffic Jam...

There was a loud screech from the rebellious tyres as the bus came to a sudden stop. She hurled forward slightly as the bus applied sudden brakes. She looked up from her tablet, paused the movie she has been watching and removed her ear-phones, wondering what could have caused this sudden halt.

All the passengers were craning their necks to get a better view of the resulting commotion. Through the raised voices of the driver and some random commuters outside, it was evident that a collision of sorts had been prevented at the end moment. They seemed to be arguing about whose fault it was, mouthing a string of cuss words in their vernacular. She frowned slightly, annoyed that there could be a delay in reaching office – yet again…

Road accidents were not uncommon in Bangalore’s busy rush hour traffic. There seemed to be hardly any decorum or even minimal road sense with every large and small vehicle demanding priority passage. Loud honking and furrowed brows dominated the morning scene. Flaring tempers followed suit.

She sighed and sunk back in her seat, stuffed the earphones in her ear and resumed the video, thankful to have some respite from this commotion. It looked like a long wait, but at least she needn't get upset about it.

Just then her phone buzzed.

She had a new WhatsApp message from the group of friends from her previous company. There was some random chat in progress about one of the team getting ready to tie the knot. Everyone in her circle was either getting hitched or getting knocked up. It was impossible to escape such status posts even on Facebook, which made staying long on such social sites a real pain for someone like her – single and trying hard to remain so. “Married, with kids” seemed to be the most coveted status update. It was hard enough with all the society aunties spouting their so-called “concern” about her marriageable age slipping out of reach, every time she visited her folk back home. And all her married friends were all gung ho about their recent new acquisition – their husbands/bundles of joy. All of a sudden, they appeared to be from some distant planet out of her comprehension.

She sighed and added her “congrats + suitable smiley icon” to the already long list of superfluous wishes on her WhatsApp group, not wanting to appear socially obnoxious because she herself was out of the realm of weddings.

Her thoughts wandered unbidden to Vishesh – her “ex”. They had broken up a year back after four years of tumultuous togetherness and the emotional gash from the break-up had not quite healed completely. There was a dull ache that at most times, she was able to quell with self-imposed workaholism. At other times like these, stuck in a sluggish traffic jam and goaded by peers, an avalanche of memories threatened to ruin her peace of mind.

Not that they were totally incompatible. Just that they had some deep-seated differences of opinion about certain fundamental issues. Hers was to have a stable career before tying the knot; his was to play the field in the meantime. When she realized she was being two-timed by someone she thought she had known so well and cared so deeply for and with none other than her best friend…well, heartbreak is heartbreak…Words, smiles, promises, dreams, friendship, warmth – everything lost meaning in a fraction of a heartbeat, in the light of splintered trust.

Like every other girl fantasizing about a stable relationship that would metamorphose into wedded bliss, she had believed that he was “The One” from the moment they had met in college. Over the years that they had known each other, their friendship had evolved into a deeper bond. Her faith had never faltered, even though they had their share of crests and troughs like every other couple known to man. He was charming – she’d give him that – and he always knew what worked for him and when. He would always find a way to worm his way into her good books no matter how many times he might have screwed up. It was always hard to question the sincerity of his promises even though there were countless times he never really delivered on them. Or paid heed to her wishes. Until the time he had taken it too far – by hooking up with her best friend of many years and keeping her in the dark for months before she finally caught them in the act.

It was at a traffic jam like this that she had caught sight of Vishesh’s car. He called her up earlier that week to say he would be out on a business trip for a few days. And there he was cozying up with her best friend in his car, the two of them cootchie-cooing like a pair of love birds. When she called his number and asked where he was, to her astonishment, he answered that he was still out, preparing for a business meeting. His deceit had left her aghast and deeply hurt.

She had been blinded by his attention and mojo too long that when his unfaithfulness had finally hit her, it had hit her smack between her eyes, draining her of all emotion and leaving her numb. The tears had come later, much later, in torrents and trickled to a thin stream of pain or spurts of recurring memories getting blurrier and somewhat bearable with the passage of time. Now, she was hardened by life in general and reasonably happy with her state of being. Love wasn’t the be all and end all of life, and you never know what the future has in store.

She had probably had a near miss on that one. A wake up call of sorts. An accident averted by divine providence – perhaps just like this one that caused the traffic jam. May be there was still hope for her yet.

9:25 AM.

If the bus didn’t pull out of the verbal stronghold, she was going to be late and miss the morning’s meeting.

She looked at her buzzing phone. Another notification, now on her Facebook page. She fought the urge to ignore it. Funny, she mused, how social media has gone on to integrate all social life of this generation whose day begins and ends with their social media enabled smart phones. But in the process, technology has also managed to alienate them from real conversations with real people – for instance, one’s co-passengers in the bus.

She looked at the passenger beside her, for the first time. He was a well-dressed, youngish, bespectacled guy with a clean-shaven and lantern-jawed profile engrossed in his smart phone, occasionally looking up to see if the commotion outside had subsided. She could relate with his growing impatience.

Must be an IT professional, she thought, like the million other software engineers headed for work to some multinational software company. Bangalore was teeming with such people who made a living by solving the business and technology problems of the globe. She was one such person herself and her work kept her sane.

9:30 AM.

The quarrel-mongering drivers of either vehicle had finally quit their tamasha and decided to give in to the persistent honking of fellow commuters. The bus pulled ahead reluctantly and she sighed with a mixture of relief and impatience.

Her co-passenger glanced at her and smiled pleasantly. “A tough one, huh?”

He had a nice voice, she noted and soft eyes that crinkled behind the glasses. She answered levelly “Yeah! You can say that.”

“Had they gone on any longer with their verbal tirade, I’m sure most of the people in the bus would have stomped out in anger!” he chimed.

“Hmm...” She gave a non-committal smile.

“Hi, I’m Arjun. Arjun Mehta” he extended a palm in introduction “I am a software developer at ZDS in Whitefield.” ZDS was a reputed software firm, needing no further clarification. “I have seen you travel this route before. Nice to meet you…”

“Ashvika” She answered, taking his proffered hand “Financial analyst at Societe Generale. Nice to meet you too...”

There is that split second when time stops. A silent moment when eyes meet and smiles converge. You can call it a heartbeat or an eternity. You can call it destiny or a second chance.

She opened her mind to possibilities. And thanked the traffic jam…

Shop till you drop…And then shop some more!

The recent 'Big Billion Day' fiasco by Flipkart has given rise to a spate of discussions – some positive but mostly negative – around the marketing gimmicks employed by e-commerce businesses these days. One of the leading national print publications showcased a page-length ad by Flipkart – right on the first page so it hits the urban, tech savvy crowd smack in the face the moment they open their newspapers on Monday morning.

The result? An unprecedented flurry of shoppers to be the first in the scene to grab a bunch of items on a so-called ‘limited offer’ day long sale…

No doubt it was a bold move by Flipkart to overhaul sales and get maximum traffic to their website in a day. Within just 10 hours of the working day, Flipkart recovered more than $100 million in gross merchandising value (GMV). There was tremendous traffic onto the website that clearly indicated the depth and breadth of online shopping frenzy prevalent in the market.

Not to mention that the same newspaper also flaunted an ad by Flipkart’s competitor Snapdeal in the following page with cheeky catch-phrases. Amazon, a seasoned player in the e-commerce field, though a fairly new entrant in the Indian market was not far behind in stealing the thunder from Flipkart’s ad. Competing hashtags that went viral was nothing short of war. Apparently trolling is no longer a cause for consternation. All is fair in love and online marketing. ‘Dog eat dog’ world that it is, one can hardly blame such antics or judge all outliers such as Flipkart and Snapdeal going the extra mile. In an age where online shopping has become a byword for the urban, internet enabled smart phone wielding, wallet-toting youth, there is a clear jostle for supremacy among online marketers and etailers.

Amid all this brouhaha, one wonders the long-term implications of such drastic devil-may-care gimmicks to woo shoppers by droves. Was it a well thought through exercise launched by Flipkart or an impulsive plunge to be the first in the scene? Will it make a lasting dent in the psyche of online shoppers that is growing by the minute? Or will it be forgotten in time – only the brand having made its stamp in the minds of the Indian masses. Either way, it was a risk – calculated or otherwise – that Flipkart chose to take.

Now, Flipkart's scheme to lure in customers may have been revolutionary, but it had its share of glitches that cannot be brushed under the carpet in a hurry. There were a bunch of products ranging from apparel to accessories to electronic gizmos which flaunted a staggering slash in prices and were hard to ignore. When shoppers would go as far as selecting the items or adding them onto their cart, the items would mysteriously appear as "SOLD" or "OUT OF STOCK" or even worse - show their regular, everyday prices without the promised discount! Even those who successfully managed to place an order found that their orders were unfathomably cancelled without their permission or any kind of intimation. Needless to say, there was a rise of disgruntled customers who opted for competitor shopping sites where the festival season anyway promised heavy discounts. What started out as an audacious tactic fizzled out when shoppers realized they were being duped. It might have brought in the dough. But it has cost the brand dearly.

What does it mean for the customer?

Customers are no longer fooled into making snap judgments and instantaneous purchases. They go through all online and offline avenues comparing costs and features, analyzing peer reviews, participating in social media discussions, looking for the most viable deals before making a purchase decision. They are not shy of voicing their opinions on products or sharing their brand experiences with peers. They influence the brand’s image in a big way and form lasting impressions. Social media provides an integrated platform for expression of customer feedback. The availability of internet aided mobile devices and a plethora of apps make online shopping not just a convenience but a way of life.

If not one, there is always another brand round the corner, promising more. There is no dearth of choices with many such marketers joining the e-commerce bandwagon, each looking to outdo the others and fast. Upping the ante to evolve with time is the need of the hour for any brand that wishes to stay in the good books of the customer for long. Furthermore, businesses need to have a sound marketing strategy to analyze customer sentiments from the trove of data generated across all online and offline platforms in order to cater to customer needs in real-time. In short - customer first...


Shopping has been a necessity for some, therapy for others and ultimate pleasure for most, equivalent to eating chocolates or taking a vacation after a hard week or even falling in love, maybe! The thrill of getting new stuff to flaunt around is quite a heady one. But while earlier it was more of a necessity versus availability issue, now, it is more spur of the moment ‘binge shopping’. Irrespective of whether one needs something or can afford it, one grabs what one wants. Thanks to flexible payment options such as credit cards, cash-on-delivery (COD) and internet banking as well a range of perks such as discount coupons, loyalty points, payback systems, easy return policy and no extra charge on cancellation, online shopping rules the day.

It is indeed a dream come true for true blue shopaholics and wannabes who live by the maxim “Shop till you drop!” But we wish online marketers would clean up their act before its too late for them. Customers have their options open anyway. More power to the shopper, yay...!

Crazy English...

I have always thought the English language was quite funny. No, scratch that. Not funny. The expression is ‘stoically hilarious’! I believe that the English as a people are probably quite pissed that everybody around the globe has autonomy over their language, using it in whatever manner they wish, making changes as they go without so much as consulting with them every time they do so. And so, in their uppity-shmuppity way, they probably have designed the language is such a fashion that it will drive all non-indigenous English speakers up the wall with hair-tearing uncertainty every time they use certain words or phrases.

Why do I say this? This morning out of the blue and for no apparent reason, I was left wondering if “nullify” relates to “null”, how come “rectify” does not relate to “rectum’? Well, I’m sure all of us have at one point of time or the other found that a word that seems so innocuous can seem outrageous.

Much has been said about the number of idiosyncrasies in the English language that make it extremely baffling and amusing at the same time. For example, if the plural of “box” is “boxes” why is the plural of “ox” – oxen? If ‘vegetarians’ eat vegetables, what do ‘humanitarians’ eat? Cut, Nut, But, Gut and Hut have their own snooty club that bars poor ‘Put’ from being one of them.

There are times when if we twirl an oft-used word around our tongues, we find that the word has suddenly lost meaning, refusing to make sense even if we gave it the mental third degree. A normal word, something you wouldn’t have given second thought to in most cases, suddenly appears to revolt and demand unnecessary attention. These psycholinguistics, I say! Enough to drive any sane person psycho…

And then there are words that mean different things in different scenarios. Say, “How do I intimate this to my most intimate friend that his nose ‘runs’ and his feet ‘smell’? Tough one, that.

As Asterix and Obelix would have rightly pointed out “These English are crazy!” Toc.Toc.Toc…

Que Sera Sera..and all that S#!T...

Sometimes it’s easier to just let go and feel suspended in space and time. No matter how tough a nut the world might seem, it’s not always necessary to crack it. A little bit of inertia can get the world into the right perspective. You know, maybe a little serenity prayer and all that…But then, it might seem like I am rambling here if I do not tell you how I came to be in this state of mind…so, here goes…

Monday morning.

The doorbell rings and I wake up with a start, swearing “SHIT..!!”. Not unusual for me, considering I always have a hard time getting out of bed in the mornings. So when the maid comes in sharp at 7:00 AM, I always wake up with an expletive beginning my day. This really annoys my husband no end.

“Why do you always have to start your day with meaningless profanity!?” he asks as he climbs out of bed to open the front door and let the maid in.

“I dunno…..rtrersjflksahfihyfrhdj…” I grumble a bunch of sleep induced garbled words.

I try holding on to the wisps of sleep, now getting tantalizingly out of reach, without much success. In the background I hear the maid going about her usual chores. I can hear her clearing the dish tray of the dried dishes to make place for the ones that she will shortly go on to clean. The clanging of the dishes ensures sleep has slipped far, far away, into a distant, unreachable land.

I sigh and roll out of bed, fishing for the rubber band now at the end of my askew hair. I tie my hair, straighten my clothes like a soldier preparing to go into battle. The day has officially begun.

It suddenly strikes me that today is the day when my husband’s relatives had planned to visit us – for a whole WEEK…!! Oh no…I groan inwardly and almost dive for the bed again, looking for any refuge that will help me escape the situation. I definitely did not plan on spending the whole week catering to the whims and fancies of long distance relatives who wouldn't step up for us if the world were ending and they were the only ones who could save us.

Ever since my husband had told me of their impending visit, I was somehow hoping they would change their minds about visiting us – his folks are famous for making spur of the moment plans or dropping out at the end moment. By that logic, I didn't believe they would actually go through with it. The entire weekend, I had been morosely optimistic, dreading the week ahead. Not that they are bad people, mind you. Only selfish, opportunistic and cracked lame jokes all day long. I for one hate phonies and they happened to be prize-winning ones! Had it not been for my father-in-law insisting we play host and entertain them, and my husband not wanting to hurt his feelings by declining, I swear I wouldn't have agreed in the first place.

It isn't enough that every time we visit our folks in our hometown, no matter how short a time we spend owing to our limited number of leaves from work, my father-in-law ensures we ‘drop in’ at his sister’s place for a ‘quick chat’ to catch up on ‘stuff’. Needless to say, the casual visits would stretch into unbearable hours with his brother-in-law cracking the lamest jokes that make no sense whatsoever and repeating them multiple times for all and sundry to hear and applaud. Let alone offering us refreshments when we visit them, they go on and on about their daughter’s achievements in mimicking the latest Katrina Kaif sleazy item number. She’s six, mind you, old enough to go to school. But hey, what achievement can match her gyrating to cheap Bollywood scores..? As if that wasn't torture enough, now they would be staying with us for an entire week!!!

Ever since my marriage, we have had visitors dropping in on us every month – no fibbing, I swear! His folks, my folks, his friends, relatives of relatives, casual acquaintances…the whole wide world wanting to sample our hospitality. My husband has a really annoying habit that drives me nuts most times – he just can’t say ‘NO’. So we always end up bearing other peoples’ troubles. He has another even more annoying habit – he cannot for the life of him, ask for a favour from anyone. So, you can imagine my surliness.

But now, with the date of their visit a looming reality, I had no way but to keep mum and cross not just my fingers but all that is crossable, in the hope that the ordeal would be over soon. I have been literally counting the minutes that suddenly refuse to budge.

This morning, my sweet, do-gooder husband was up and about, already making lunch for the guests. Their train would be reaching the station around noon – delayed by three hours. He was supposed to pick them up and drive them home. He had taken half a day’s leave from work, solely for this exercise. I wanted to ask him if all this was really worth it, but I already knew the answer "It is important to maintain relationships, sweetheart. People matter more than some everyday mundane job..." And my retort would invariably be "Oh yeah??. Will those relatives help you when you are out of your job..?". We had played out this conversation so many times in the past that sometimes reality and fantasy merged incomprehensibly.

I stared at his busy back accusingly, dragging my feet along, unconsciously picking stuff up and setting them right. I swore inwardly that I would not play chef for the visiting couple and their naughty six-year old, smile and act like all was okay. Like I was not at all miffed at their dropping in on us so suddenly and inconveniencing us. I would NOT! But seeing my husband go about his tasks with a smile on his face somehow broke my resolve, and I found myself helping him cook.

I realized I would get late to office while I was stuck cooking. I immediately texted my boss that I would be a little late. Thankfully she has enough humanity in her to sympathize with my situation. She being a wife and mother, is no stranger to unwelcome, bothersome guests. Somewhere along the way, I toyed with the thought of taking a day off to cope with the guests and their needs lest they turn my house upside down, but promptly shoved that idea away to the remotest recesses of my mind. I shuddered having to smile placidly at all the dumb jokes they cracked all day. Or worse still, having to bear the telugu TV serials they would watch in succession. Office seemed so much more inviting…sigh!

And so, here I am in office, working – or trying to work – while I find myself constantly fretting about what might be going on at home in my absence. Will they have capped the lids of the jars after having pickle with their lunch? Would they be rummaging through my bookshelves and sketchbooks and not replaced them in their spot? What if they don’t lock the front door properly or switch off the lights in case they plan to go out somewhere? What if the geyser is on the whole day? What if the kid breaks glassware? And so on and on, like a headless chicken going round and round in futile circles…

Come lunch time and I am flooded with different points of view from my team mates…

“You simply must assert yourself…Say enough is enough!” Says ‘A’ vehemently. A real kindred soul, this one.

“What does it matter? They are just people. How much of a headache can they be, really? Aren't you just OCDing a bit?” Say ‘B’ unfazed by the daggered look I throw him. He is a guy and an unmarried one at that, I fume silently, what the heck does he know about the woes of married folk? Let him get married and then we will see…

“Oh God! What if they don’t flush properly after they have done the job..!!” Says ‘C’, and I am on the verge of throwing up when I hear this.

“Guys!” I glare at them collectively “You are supposed to help me deal with this... This is not ‘helping’!”

And then comes the Gyani solution from ‘B’ “Well, you know what they say, don’t you? Que Sera Sera..what will be will be..!” I am all set to throw him my second, stronger stare of derision when he holds up his hand to explain.

“Think about it…You love your husband. You obviously care about his happiness, or else you wouldn’t have put up with this for this long. It’s not the first time and I can bet my arse this won’t be the last either.”

“So, you are saying I just put up with it…feel shitty and still take it…All because I love my husband who chooses not to see my side of things?” I ask with unmasked sarcasm.

“Yes” He says. “I bet he also doesn’t like being inconvenienced. I mean come on, who does? But he is doing it because he loves his parents and obviously cares about their wishes. And that matters to him.”

“And what about MY wishes?” I ask, obviously hurt. “Does that not count? Does it mean I do not mean anything to him? It’s okay if I am inconvenienced as long as his folks are happy..?”

“No I did not mean that. I am sure he loves you. But every couple has their own dynamics. There must be a lot about you that he puts up with too. Maybe he just does a better job of coping with it. Ask him…”

“Yeah right!!” I roll my eyes sarcastically. “He sure does have problems with a wife who does his bidding nine times out of ten. I can see where that is a problem.”

A, C and the rest of them nodded sagely, in agreement.

B went on oblivious to the animosity “Look, all I am saying is, a). You can choose to sit your husband down and let him know it bugs you big time. Or b). You can go on this way for his sake. In the end, what matters is you have some peace of mind…and let us have some too!” he added, winking sheepishly.

“There is another option, you know, a middle ground” said ‘D’, for the first time. “You can have a pact, kind of a 'Quid Pro Quo' policy...An agreement that lays down the nitty-gritties of married life negotiations. About how far you will go to keep him happy. And what he must do to keep you happy. And abide by it, no matter what. It will probably seem like a baniya company but what the heck, as long as peace prevails, right?”

“Uh huh” I said.

I was not entirely convinced, but the discussion had taken the edge off the matter, somewhat. The others continued to rationalize, debate over the issue of marriages being an unequal bargain, the uselessness of marriages, the importance of familial obligations and commitments, etc, etc…But, me, I was now in the ‘Go with the flow’ zone. It was no solution, but it was a welcome respite. The numbness of not caring for a while. Not thinking about useless things and fretting away your life, your youth, your happiness for matters out of your hands. That way you can snatch a little bit of peace – transient, inconclusive, may be – but peace nonetheless…

And so, while this illusionary tranquility pervades my senses, I will advocate the potency of the "serenity prayer”. The importance of letting go and all that nonsense. Until, the bell rings and this insanity called ‘reality’ takes over…Until its time to go home and slip on my mask of a smile...

The dust will settle at your feet...

On silent toes, life passes you by,

Your world flips around in the blink of an eye.

Heartbeat suspended, you wish it would stay,

Just the same as yesterday.

Friends drift apart like leaves scattered in the breeze.

Like smoke arising from dying embers, love will cease.

And beauty, the most fickle of them all,

Fades faster than dreams you wish you’d recall.

It’s all transient; it’s all a game,

No two hearts really beat the same.

Some things last a while, others a bit longer.

Yet what doesn't destroy you just makes you stronger.

So breathe in the air, live life to the brim.

Open your heart to the world, whether happy or grim.

Don’t clutch at sand, don’t hide or retreat.

In time, the dust will settle at your feet...

The Art Of "Letting Go"...

Sometimes it doesn't matter what you want, or how badly you want it. Sometimes, it is much more beneficial to let things happen of their own accord, with wholehearted acceptance of fate taking its own course. 

Once you let go of the burden, the denial, the need for control, it becomes easier to breathe. A sense of immense tranquility settles around your mind, like a warm blanket, pushing every stressful thought into oblivion.

It is not easy to accept though. It is the hardest thing in the world to relinquish control and let things be… I realized this once I let my troubled mind ease slowly into serenity, step by step, with conscious effort. Battling out my emotions every day, constantly striving to control every aspect of my life; it was all driving me to the brink of insanity. That which is not in my control should not be my headache. I would do my best to achieve my goals. But beyond a certain point, it was really out of my hands. And the sooner I accepted that, the better it was for my peace of mind.

At certain moments when my mind is clouded with stray irrational doubts, remnant from my past stressful self, I force myself to accept that I am not omnipotent. I am human and it is allowed to make allowances for oneself. It helps to take a step back, remain neutral, almost like having an out-of-body experience where you look at your life from a slight distance. To bring in a certain level of objectivity into life’s seemingly insurmountable problems.

Like I said, it is not an easy task. But it’s more important to understand that continuous stress over problems out of your control decreases your life-span significantly. You lose out on youth, whatever joy you can get from everyday life and lose a bit of yourself gradually. And it’s definitely not worth the trouble.

All this must seem very superficial, like the ramblings of a mind off its hinges. But I believe that the art of “letting go” is something that every individual needs to imbibe within oneself, at some point of time or the other, to survive life’s lashes. Letting go of the negative forces in life can be a tremendous healing experience.

Footprints in the sands of time...and in the hearts of the multitude

I don’t know how to write this, without feeling out of my depth here. Primarily because sports has never intrigued me to the point of penning down my thoughts around the subject. But I will give it my best shot, anyway.

I do not feel I am in my element when I discuss sports. Never have been, and I don’t think I ever will be. Even back when I was in school, I would consciously steer clear of questions revolving around sports in quiz programmes. I would ignore the section comprising sports questions in competitive exams. But this time around, I think I am willing to make an exception. Why? Only because it involves Sachin.

When we say Sachin – at least in India – We mean only one Sachin. Tendulkar. There might be a number of people around who share his name (hoping to share some of his charisma too!). But like I said, Sachin is an adjective, a verb, a brand in himself. People use a number of superlatives – all in the positive light – when it comes to describing Sachin. I am sure he has made a special niche in the hearts of not just Indians, but perhaps every person who has known him directly or indirectly over the years. And the impact he has had in our lives is profound, at the very least.

So Saturday, November 16, 2013 will be forever etched in every Indian’s mind, as the day the ‘God of Cricket’ stepped down from his throne. It was the hardest day not just for Sachin, for bidding farewell to his life’s passion, Cricket, but even more so for his horde of fans across the world, who are still reeling from the fact that Sachin will never play cricket again for them. It is still sinking in slowly. For a long time afterward, my husband kept ‘tsk-tsk’ing to himself, sadness writ large on his face.

I am not a cricket buff. Honestly. And I say this with utter fear of collective ridicule from perhaps every Indian, friends and strangers alike! I thought through thoroughly before admitting the fact. But well, there it is. So even as a cricket agnostic, it is impossible not to be affected by Sachin’s farewell. For me, whatever little cricket meant, was synonymous with the great man. I can be persuaded to watch the game only if Sachin is on the crease. Sachin has touched so many lives with his game. He has managed to unite an entire nation of Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Parsis, Sikhs, Jains, Buddhists – literally obliterating differences between man and his neighbor. Cricket can stop the business world in its tracks with half of India on tenterhooks whenever Sachin is on the field. President Obama was rightfully concerned when he mentioned America’s production goes down by 5% whenever Sachin comes to bat.

His farewell speech, the longest by his standards so far and most revealing about his life, moved the nation to tears. It held the audience glued to every visible television set and by the end of what was a life’s tale spoken straight from the heart; left viewers with the thought that people like Sachin are extremely rare. No matter how much they achieve in life, they are never tainted by fame or power or wealth or controversy. He has bowed out of the game with grace, his humility, simplicity and honesty intact. These have been the most endearing things about him, worth idolizing. He has left in footprints in the sands of time and in the hearts of the multitude.

Tomorrow, the nation can go back to its differences of religion, caste, gender, creed and all possible self-made barriers. Tomorrow, they can live their mundane lives and look for different pastimes. Tomorrow, people may continue to watch cricket or choose to stay away from the cricket mania. But today, we will glory in the fact that we were fortunate enough to witness a star perform during our lifetime. And now, without any qualms, I can go back to my cricket-free world.

Mirage

I know you are not here yet.

You are just an illusion, my dear.

A mirage on the thirsty sands of my heart.

Like a dream that disappears with the morning mist.

I have not felt your presence yet,

You are but a figment of my imagination.

A memory of a favourite but long forgotten song,

Flickering in my mind, just out of reach.

I look for you with famished eyes,

Praying for a glimmer of hope, a sign, any sign.

This cycle of hope and despair is too much to bear,

And I can no longer pretend not to care.

I have been a believer and an atheist alike.

I have reasoned with, groveled, and threatened God.

I have cursed my fate and yet trudged on ahead,

My faith renewed, until the next time.

I know not if there is a light at the end of this tunnel

For, today you are a mystery in the twilight

But you will be here with me one day, by my side.

Real, tangible, all smiles and warmth and beauty.

So much Blah!

It is one of those chilly, ‘the-office-admin-doesn't-know-shit-about-AC-modulation’ days in office when you sit staring at the unyielding laptop till your eyes begin to water, lost in thought while the voices of people around you cease make any kind of sense…

Yeah, you got it right..! Everybody has one of those somniferous days when there’s loads of work to be done and yet your heart is just not in it. Today’s just one of those days, I guess. I curse the insensitive Admin team for the umpteenth time for the malfunctioning AC. I look up at the top of my team-mate Bala’s head peeking out of his work-station, across the partition and contemplate taking his trip. May be something about his non-existent love life despite his typical Malyali good looks. Or his name, like I usually do. ‘Blaaah’, I usually call him, since it is much more fun than the traditional sounding ‘Bala’. Or ‘Balaouse’. Or ‘Balobashi’. Or ‘Balaatkari’. Or 'Bala ki jaana main kaun'The list goes on.  But naah! Not today. Not that he’s not a good sport. He’s a great sport, actually. Laughs it all off most days and maybe makes a witty, sarcastic comeback occasionally. Today, I just don’t feel all that creative. Just bored.

I look around at my boss-cum-bitchin buddy ‘V’. She too is typing away at her laptop, at break-neck speed. Perhaps she is busy whacking her boss in a war of words. My interest is piqued and I walk over to her.

“Hey! What’s cooking, babe?” I ask.

“What else?” She rolls her eyes at me pointing at the mail she has been reading. I peer over her shoulder to see a mail from one of the so called “Big shots” who seemed to be blaming her for all that he had failed to do correctly. Typical boss-giri at its heights.

“That jackass still on about his inflated sense of superiority?”

“I wish I didn’t have to deal with such morons every day” She sighs.

I ‘tsk-tsk’ my sympathy. I am no stranger to these morons she deals with. I deal with them too. They are pampered, over-paid, pompous pieces of s*#t who don’t know which end of their bodies they speak through. They can screw anyone for things that they themselves screwed up. They play cheap blame games and never own up to their mistakes. Their callous attitudes and incompetence cost resourceful, competent employees their jobs while they themselves climb the corporate ladder, sucking up to the top guns to secure themselves.

“Let him go on ranting about his two bits. Who cares? Why lose your peace of mind over people who will not change even if their lives depended on it? Not worth it.” I tell her.

“True. But for my peace of mind, I have to give him a piece of my mind. It’s high time” She scowls, staring at the laptop.

Hmm…I smile at her aggressiveness. I like the change I have been seeing in her lately. People usually take her niceness for granted. This version of her is a welcome change. She is one of those passionate, raring-to-go people who like to get the job done and expect the best because they give the best. She gets her hands dirty whenever necessary and never shirks her responsibilities by shedding them off to her subordinates. She is one of those ‘dream bosses’ who are human beings first and bosses next. She always stands up for her team and encourages them to do their best.

“If that is what you want, go ahead, give him what he deserves. It is better to stay honest to oneself any day” I back her up vociferously, finally losing my lethargy and feeling energized. “There is very little sanity left in the world. Let’s maintain ours at least!”

Smiling, she hit the send button. “I’m done. This should show him I'm not his doormat".

I smile back and look over at Bala who is yawning away in glory. "Come, Blah. Let’s all go grab a cup of tea!"